Currently…

I only eat chocolates when im depressed, sad and really hungry..

I’ve been eating them chocolates these past few days..everyday!!

bleagh !!!

*quintic function. quartic funtion. argh. cubic. polynomials. symmetry. x . y . y=mx+c . calculus . graphic calculator. size AAA batteries . calculus. factors. roots. stat edit. 2nd y=. graph. 2nd mem. clear. calculus.*

C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E

wish i could cheer it allllllll out !

give me a C ,

give me a H

give me a OCOLATE !!

GOOOOOO CHOCOLATE !

*ends cheer with a HURKEY jump*

Falls back down on the ground and pops more chocolate into my mouth.

*sigh

Dee May burnt me an Emo Cd with 17 tracks and some of them…lol, can’t make me stop laughing =P Apparently the emo bit is in the lyrics and not in the melody of the song - well, i guess diff ppl have diff perceptions on the word ‘Emo’- lol, thanx anyway, Dee, i need that Cd now..

So yesterday, was my birthday.. hmm.. Fimy and Claire surprised me in Mc Donald’s where i had to wait for the bus, and they bought me a breakfast set and then Fimy drove us to clg. Wooo - Special Treatment - lol. [ Thanks for waking up early =P ]So, had classes as usual, had break, had a class and went home to make sure the place [TropiQ] was ready. Was stressed over the sound system but it worked out in the end.

I remember telling myself last year i wanted a quiet birthday this year, like maybe family and close friends - small gathering and stuff - but… nope..totally opposite. So yea, guess its the whole ‘im turning 18 years old and welcome freedom thingie’ but actually, it didn’t feel like anything big.. in fact, prior to yesterday [which btw was 20.07 2007, as in 2007 2007 *get it ??* incase no one realized =P ] i wasn’t all that pumped up abt it.. sounds odd ? i dunoe ~ =S but obviously on that day itself  i was all excited like a lil kid again la.. but sadly, the excitement didnt last through the whole night…whatever..

but it perked up after TropiQ, where a bunch of us went to Nirwana’s and told lame jokes one after the other …OMACHI… lol. Rahul and Affiq couldn’t get enough of the joke =P neither could any of us.. lol.. i love lame jokes =P they make u feel so stupid.. or.. was it the other way round ? =S oh well, they still made me laugh and it did fill up the silence i was slipping into every now and then..and we cam whored.. and i reparked Affiq’s car [its manual & i forgot how to drive manual =S ...sorry Mrs Ang =P ] it took me ten minutes to get from the original parking space to 6 parking spaces away frm the original parking lot =P it was exciting =P but my parking sucked but whatever, it was like 2/3 am i forgot =P

and back we went to my house where the girls [extreme gang...LOL] slept over at my place and they watched me open presents =P felt like christmas =P ** THANKS FOR THE GIFTS PEEPS ** and off we went to the room, got ready and talked alllll the way till 7am =P ahaha, it was entertaining.. =P [Joanne and Deemay] and the "zombie" song =P

and we all woke up at 10am, wanting mc’ds for bfast- pancakes & ice cream - not knowing that it was a promotional item and there was no more promotion.. soooo we wasted out time =P but in the end we went to the coffee shop in bsar and ate =P ..

and went home and chilled.. and they left =(

miss them~

next party - JOANNE CHEE - wooooo

*I fall easily.. for words.

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We’ll play jacks and uno cards
I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
‘Cause I want to hold yours too
We’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it’s time for me to go home
It’s getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

..this has nothing to do with you
It’s personal, myself and I
We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do
And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I’ve got to get a move on with my life

MY MIDDLE FINGER GOT HOOKED ! a fishing hook hooked my middle finger and it was BLEEDING. It was so red, i was amazed. And it looked so cute as it appeared on the surface of my finger and i was just drawn to the way it oozed out of the tiny hole and made like a bubble shape thingie. U knw last time during Kemahiran Hidup time, we used that metal melter to like melt the metal? and we had to make blops of those melted metals onto the chipboard to sorta stick the wire onto the board? Yea, my blood looked like that on my finger =P as in, blood = melted metal and finger = chipboard.

Then an uncle came over and gave me this squashed leaf and told me to press it against the wound for ten minutes. =P Anyway, i mentioned fishing hook in the first sentence, so yes, I went fishing, again!!! at first my dad told me we were going to some pond near Ipoh, but then i guess my dad and his bro changed their mind, and we went to Cheras area. Ok so, the pond was not as big as the one in Sabah, but at least it was ..more pleasant. There were so many of those *labrour* (don’t know how to spell) dogs. Scary. but cute =P

Yea, so anyway, i got a fishing rod for myself ! =) and i went down, and fished.. and… I CAUGHT A FISH !!!!!!! an ikan Haruan, weighing 2kgs. Omg, i cannot explain how exciting it was. I swear ! my dad and my uncle were like so excited, and my dad told me to like reel the thingie closer to where we were so he could catch it and put it into the net we had. and.. omg… it was so exciting ! i was like screaming and like jumping and like i dont know.. you HAVE to go fishing AND catch a fish =P the feeling it just so .. woooosh ! ahaha, so thrilling. I love that feeling. =P

but, that was the last fish i caught =P the first, but also the last. After that, my uncle caught 2, and my dad caught 1. So in total, we caught 4 =P there were a lot of other fish, like ikan talapia, but the ones we wanted to catch was the haruan. Somehow, the talapia fish weren’t interested in our baits, not like we were interested in them anyway =P but you could see them swimming around, not the haruan. many a time my dad told me the haruan did catch my bait but i didn’t know how to ’strike’ it so it got a way =(

but you get this sudden rush when u feel something tugging at your rod, or like something heavy.. you’ll go ballistic =P but there were many times when it was just false alarm =P My uncle and my dad used live frogs =S [eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww] but i used those plastic fish things =P OH ! and when fishing, i saw a pink dragonfly. Got the pic in my hp =P it was sooooo pretty.

Ok, ahaha. so that was my morning on the 14th of July 2007. I’m sure ya’ll be doing something more interesting than that. But, one day, you should try fishing. It’s not boring. really . =P I think i’m going next week, or the week after next. See how la!

My fingers have quite a bit of cuts from the hook and the line but its ok =P after fishing we ate durian. ahaha =P what a combination, but just so happened there was a durian orchard near the pond. So my dad bought some. Sooooo yummmy ! =P but damn jelak =P

anyway, enough about today. Has been a week of college already. So fast huh? It’s been one eventful week.. Started classes, made new friends, met up with old friends, went through a day with swollen eyes, early stages of emoing moods creeping up, arguements, patching up, confusion.. aihz.. dont know la, but life wouldn’t be life, if it wasn’t because of all that i guess, no matter how much it hurts from the pain, or the laughter and smiles. So..yeah..

Anyway, don’t wanna get all emo again! So yeah, yesterday, Fimy and I went to the gym in BV2. She wanted to use her free trial thingie, while i wanted to get the free trial thingie which ends next tues i guess. Bleagh. Anyway, we walked in, ready to sweat out our problems [ok, at least for me that is =P] but getting a free trial wasn’t all that easy. After about, nearly an hour, [pfft] Fimy and I [finally] walked into the studio to see what type of dance there was. lol. =P

we were the only two young ones there. The other 4 were older women. ok. nevermind. we thought we’d just try it out. And we did. For the first 15 minutes or so, we did stretching, up down side diagonal, u name it we did it, with slow music. with a lot of inhaling and exhaling. and slow music. and giggles now and then. and Fimy telling me to shut up cause i was on the verge of LMAO =P out of respect, i just laughed softly. Anyway, we wanted to leave, so as we were stretching downwards, instead of touching the floor, we touch our mats, and pulled them away, and walked backwards to the end of the studio to place the mats to where they belonged, and we walked out =P We thought it was just warm up.. but.. guess not =P I think Kenny was laughing at us =P

So, down we went to use the walking machine [forgot the name for it]. And we walked, and jogged, and ran like 1km =P and then we proceeded upstairs to all the monstrous looking machines =S i swear they look like they can kill you man. so, we experimented with the gadgets and had fun, and when we finally had enough, we left poor Kenny to work out alone =P

But it was fun la =P i never went to a real real real gym before. So.. ahaha yeah. Guess thats all thats left to type. Don’t think i’ll be doing anything. Was thinking of baking a cake. =P see how la =P So.. yeah.

**Sometimes, i wonder, why do I even bother…

Till next time…

p.s HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAMEER AND SHIVAANI !!!!!!! i remembered !!!! =D

Not a good day emotionally.

Here we go, again…

Lol, what a weird title but Cheryl and I are talking about ingrown hair now! and how terrible it is to everything in the world. lol ok.. cock talk. Anyway, i went for my 2nd day in clg!!! ahaha, it was ok.. time passes by sooooooo fast this sem =S .. its already Wednesday, middle of the week.. well sorta..but yeah, Probably its cause I’m taking only 3 subjects (Calculus, International Business, and Economics) and probably the way the timetable was arranged. I have 2 periods, then Lunch Break then 1 period after that, so i end at 1.

Ok, not like u needed to know my timetable =P but still, Im jobless at the moment! Well, gonna go out soon, meet up with some high school friends and finally seeing Aiman!!! Gosh, i realize, i haven’t been keeping in touch with old friends.. and I’M SORRY =( .. i mean, i feel la that there are a lot of friends that we don’t talk to anymore…when probably last time in primary sch we used to be like really close and stuff and now, we don’t even say hi. =S it’s a bit sad.. its better late than never, though, that’s what i tell myself…so.. yeah..blaegh.. i think.. i’m… sleepy..cz.. i’m rambling on!

anyway, k la, wanna get ready.. blog when i want to

out~

HAH! I BET MOST OF U DON’T KNOW WHERE SANDAKAN IS!!!! *wow…the font size is huge*.. yeah anyway, a lil bit of Geography lessons now.. Sandakan is in Sabah. Get it now? ……..*cricket silence*.. oh why did i even bother? it’s not like anyone cares !!! * YOU SHOULD! GOSH! ITS IN MSIA, U ULU PPL*

….anyway…i just ate prawns =S so im a bit… chatty? .. yeah whatever.. for those who know me, i love my prawns. esp fresh SABAH prawns.. fresh red steamed …boiled..whatever.. prawns.. with chili… yum….hypnotizing.. satisfying.. orgasmic…oh u know what i mean !

so anyway… lemme like type out my life for the past week or so. Kk. i’ll start of with .. last monday !.. OMGOSH !!!! i passed my driving test (=^.^=) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOO *gasp*OOOOOOOOOO….ok getting old..

so yeah.. lemme tell u what happened !!.. kk.. i went.. with Asher, Joanna, and Zhi.. and mrs Ang =D

so we went.. and lined up and waited.. and waited..and waited.and i was hungry

so…. SUDDENLY THEY CALLED OUT "NOMBOR 121 something something Cassandra Lee something something slope parking" .. and i went..and waited.. like a dunggu. Why? Because I didn’t know it was ’self service’ to the cars; as in.. u didn’t have to wait to be called to go into the cars and go for the test..I thought the system was like that.. and apparently it wasn’t when some one else who got called out much later than me walked into the car. And i was like.. Oh. -.-   so like that la !!!.. SO ok.. i pandai pandai made my way to the front and waited for the next car. OH someone warned my about a blue car that was retarded and could cost me my licence.. so.. ngam ngam when i was like up front, the blue car appeared !!!!! and i was like…oh..no… so i bodoh bodoh look everywhere BUT at the Blue Car.. someone else went in =P

im so mean =P .. but yeah im sure everyone heard about that car’s reputation.. i mean.. pffttt..come on! .. lol..so ok..i hopped into the next one and started. i was so freaking nervous…started with the slope..and i was talking to myself. went up .. like damn slowly i thought my car was gonna roll back…BUT  it didn’t =) .. and up it went.. and i roughly estimated and stabbed at the clutch first and then the break with my foot and…….it was ok =P .. but u knw what !!!! the pegawai ppl weren’t looking at me..and i had to wait like 5 whole minutes ..and then they asked..NOMBOR APA… i shouted back NOMBOR 121. then he waved his hand and told me to goooooo ! woooo .. and down i went..and did parking…..

ok..parking.i talked to myself again.. and i nearly banged the pole…BUT  i didnt =) .. lol.. and i succeeded.. and then i did  3 point turn.. and it was ok..

im bored talking about this =S .. i’ll cut short.. the road test was ok.. except i was really scared and my feet were actually quite far from the pedals =P ..but it was ok la =P

so…the next day i flew to sabah..and.. yeah.. im sleeepppyyyy.. i think i shall continue.. tmr…or next week when i come back =P lol…

out.

helo helo!!!!!!! im gonna blog abt what happened yday and like today! so…i’ll start of with yesterday..prom.. it was ok.. food was.. ok.. overall.. it was ok. Everyone who went looked great though !! Yeah… ok.. =P thats as much as i can say.. it was fun la =P

so today.. planned to meet caryn, preetha, zhi and kenny for lunch at 12.. but i woke up at 12 =P .. sooo.. yeah..but when i stepped out of my room… I SMELLED GAS!!!!! like from the kitchen stove kinda gas.. and i panicked!!! coz i was alone at home.. and im not good in the kitchen!!!! i thought it was gonna blow !!!!so like i called my mum 3 times, and she didn’t pick up.. so i called my dad and he told me to open the windows…and i was afraid it’ll blow!! cz like u knw how in the movies some kinda gas mixes with something else and it blows ? yeah, i thought that would happen, but it didnt =p  .. so yeah..then 10 minutes later my maid came home..and told me.. ‘no smell aso’ !.. and i was like [in my mind la]‘ DUH!!! I OPENED THE WINDOWS SO OBVIOUSLY THERE’S NO SMELL !!’ .. pffftttt.. so yeah..

after it was all cleared and stuff.. i rushed and got ready and walked to pelita’s half asleep..and managed to eat smth.. and then walked home..and uploaded pics.. Then, my dad called and asked my mum and i if we wanted to go for a ride ….. to bukit tinggi! lol.. =P since i had nothing else to do, i was like ok then.

So.. we went.. to bkt tinggi… and i was feeling all woozy and sleepy and totally uncomfy.. i think i don’t do too well with windy roads.. bleagh =S .. but yea.. we went up.. and it was cooling..then we went to the club house..and it was nice and breezy..and memories started creeping in my mind…memories of me waiting for my dad to finish playing golf..memories of me and my barbie doll in bkt tinggi.. memories of me in the library.. and the swimming pool in bkt tinggi.. lol… =P i dont know why its still in my mind =P.. ok yeah..then in the club house all three of us were hungry .. so we ate =D

My mum ordered some sandwhich thingie with yummy fries.. and my dad and i shared ice kacang =P .. when it was already pretty chilly.. oh, i dont do too well with cold either =p but yeah..it was goodddd.. coz like it was cold and all..and like we had yummy food.. so.. it was satisfying..and like while waiting for the food, i like dozed off… felt so comfy… oh and the view was nice ! =D

after that, we headed to my parent’s apt in bkt tinggi and checked it out.. then went to some deer rabbit farm.. we didn’t go in.. just hung around the car park..coz i pestered my dad about letting me drive his car round and round the car park..and so he said ok =P my mum didn’t wanna stay in the car tho.. so she waited outside =P .. and so i went round and round in my dads car till he told me to stop cz he was dizzy =P but yeah, wooooo =P ok.. then we drove down.. and had dinner ..which was … aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..yummy.. i loved the pork man.. it was like bacon cooked in some black sauce.. *thumbs up with corny smile* it was goooooood!

yeah.. that was my day .. =P never thought of actually doing that. =P there goes my day of chilling at home =P oo the sunset was really pretty today too!!.. but my camera died on me..so i coudn’t take the pretty sight..

but yeah..anyway.. i think i’ll crash now.. !!! bye bye ~

Life in the world is actually really dark without light..unfortunately,i lost my light.

Hello~ Im surprised Im actually awake at this time of the day.. uh.. its like 11.35am, but considering i slept at 2 this morning i thought i’d have like 16 hours of sleep, but i guess not. Anyway, yea ..yday was UVNATION!!.. ok, i’ll just type out what i did the whole of yday! bear with me

Ok, i woke up and went for bfast at some babanyonya place with my parents, then came home, and rested for a while and went for a Malay wedding (Dad’s staff) in like Gombak. and then i rushed home cause fimy was supposed to be at my house at like 5 so we can go at like 5.30. But she was stuck in a jam, and while waiting i ate maggi mee in the mug. And then she came, and like my dad drove us nearing BSC when Chrystal called and asked if we wanted a lift, and I thought of not memafankingkan my dad by driving us all the way there coz he was gonna entertain guests at home, I said ok. So my dad drove us back home and we waited for Joanne and Chrys. And they came, and we went to meet Dee May and off we went.

It was effing jam, and we were making up stories about people in the other cars and other random stuff like that. It was so hard to find parking but in the end we found one at like the side of the road and we had a hilarious laughing session when Fimy was struggling with the car shades.. u should have been there to see how funny it was.

Yea, so we left the car, and we noticed a lot of uh.. funny people. Yeah.. then we managed to go into the carpark and hung around.. and .. yeah..just did what other people did in UVNATION. It was so freaking packed.. and i swear i nearly passed out in the crowd…i dont do too well with ultra packed crowds.. yeah..but every now and then, there would be a breeze and omgosh, that was the best feeling ever.

The thing i hated most was people smoking, where they’d blow into ur face..bleagh. But yeah, the music was awsome, the atmosphere towards the end was pumping.. it was great.. but.. i wasn’t all that weee. Bleagh.

Yeah, then i had to go home, and I had to find my way to the connecting bridge where my dad picked me up. U see, I knw my way there, just that by that time, everything was shut. as in they completely shut the new wing and the old wing .. and i was lost.. and alone. And  it was really freaky cz like there wasn’t many people in the mall at that time.. and it was pretty dark.. and it came to a point where i was like the only living soul in the area i was in.. and i was like ‘oh shit, if anything happened to me now, no one would know’, so i like ran (barefooted- yea, i took out my heels, coz it hurt so much) towards a guard i saw. And as i was walking there came this group of like guys..like a whole bunch of them.. i was like freaked out..but like didn’t look at them at all.. but yeah, i safely reached the guard and asked for directions.

and so happened there was this guy  from my old school who was sesat like me too …or maybe not as sesat as me, but yeah .. he showed me the directions to the bridge and he went to the mamak somewhere else. So yeah, that was my night. Oh, and the only meals i ate yday were nasi lemak for bfast, maggi mee in the cup, and one slice of bread… Feel so lethargic now. And prom’s tonight. DOn’t know if i can tahan..

And i’ve decided not to blog about my emo feelings and shit like that anymore. Now, I don’t see any point of telling the whole world how i really feel because somehow, they’ll always find out some story and Im not gonna be wasting my time typing my side of the story and how I am human as well, and how i really feel. It’s not like it matters anyway..

So yea..guess i’ll go and pamper myself for tonight. Hopefully it’ll be great..and hopefully i’ll be really happy…okidoki ~~ bye bye~~

..yeah, lately I’ve been getting nightmares.. like, dreams that trouble me a lot =S can that be considered as a nightmare? well, i don’t like those dreams, so they are considered nightmares to me.. its like, i even cry in my dreams and when i wake up, i’m really crying!!! and it feels all so real.. =S weird..and like i dream of the weirdest and depressing things ..like last night i dreamnt of  .. i dont know..weird things..but it makes sense in reality.. well, sorta.. its like all my problems mixing together..its sooo weird.. yeah,..so many ‘weirds’ in this paragraph..sue me, i’m weird

anyway..Im terrified i wont reach the expected marks for my examination.. feel so useless.. i have like 2 more papers and im not ready for either one of them. I’m like stressed on the inside but I don’t seem to show it,.. or maybe i do - by snapping.

Is it really too late ? i hope not..coz i’m still like trying to get things straight with those two papers..Don’t know where to start.. and it’s not like i can fully focus on it either..feel so angry at myself..

Not a productive day today.. woke up at 8, studied a bit, got ready and went to college at eleven to attend extra accounts class.. came back home at 2, ate lunch and watched ‘house’ and CSI-NY till like 4.. and then i started studying again.. and now i don’t feel like doing anything.. i don’t even want to think..coz when i start to think, i think of things that.. i dont know, just worry me..bleagh.. yeah, twisted and complicated girl I am

So, i think i shall go now, and i dont know.. choose what to do.. bleagh..